Hmmmm...........

"Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone." I am a proud single woman. You know the type, left hand up in the air flipping back and forth singing, "Uh uh oh uh uh oh uh oh!" But at the end of the day I have to confess, I can't do this alone. I'm independent to a degree, meaning that it all falls on me at the end of the day, but I depend on my relationships with others to make it through the day. For this reason I am extremely attentive to the needs of others and make it my business to let them know that they are appreciated. However, I have reached a point where I just don't see that happening for me. I want so badly to be wanted, needed even. What I don't understand is why it isn't happening. I was reading this popular book over the weekend and one chapter in particular struck a nerve. The author said that women have gone and gotten the education, secured the job, bought the house, the car, the jewelry, had the kids, so on and so forth. He spoke about how at this point, she doesn't really need a man and when men see that they aren't needed they have no reason to be around. Ouch. I had to put the book down for awhile in order to take a good look at me. I will admit, I enjoy being able to take care of myself. But I really do it because I HAVE to. If not me, then who? Must I really let go of me in order to fully embrace us? If so, how? When? My past is all I have to draw from and every time I've allowed someone else to be in full control of me, I only ended up paying in the end. I suppose it all goes back to us learning what love is and how to recognize it when it appears. You have to let go in order to fall............the key is in being wise enough to know who's strong enough to catch you. "Love is the biggest eraser there is. Love erases even the deepest imprinting because love goes deeper then anything. If you childhood imprinting was very strong, and you keep saying: "It's their fault. I can't change," you stay stuck."