Just A Thought June 12, 2009

"You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight."

If I had to pick one thing I detest most about my life, I'd probably choose being the eldest child. Ever since I was a child, I've been a leader. While being a leader sounds great, I assure you that it's not really. The leader is always the one blamed for the outcome of any situation. We see it everyday. When the Magics lost the first game of the series, I heard radio announcers blaming it on the coach's pep talk the next day. Interesting. One person's influence matters so much that even though they aren't on the court, they are responsible for what happens on the court? It just doesn't seem fair to me. But that's just my point: it isn't fair. Bishop T.D. Jakes preached once that "favor ain't fair." There is a certain amount of favor in being the leader, and no it's not fair. From the way leaders are often chosen (listen to her, she's the oldest or hire him, he has the most prestigious credentials), to the way they are praised ( let's hear it for the great work Phil Jackson did on winning games 1,2, and 4) and even chastened, none of it ever seems fair. I say all that to say, that perhaps I hate being a leader because I've always known that my internal compass was off. While I knew this, no one else seemed to care, and as a consequence I've always been judged by the actions of those around me rather than mine own. Finally I realize why: it's never been about me. It's been about the work I was supposed to do through others ALL ALONG. So when the "others" are not performing as they should be, it's because I am not performing as I should be. Could the same be said for you?

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are. Far more then our abilities."