Happiness...........

"I wanted to tell him everything, maybe if I'd been able to, we could have lived differently......"

The biggest misconception out there is that every woman wants to be married, or a girlfriend, or in an exclusive relationship. I'm shaking my head as I write this because that couldn't be farther from the truth for me. I just want to be happy. What is happiness you ask? Well, it depends on when you ask me. Today, happiness was lying in bed with my two year old watching Sprout. Yesterday it was getting my hair and nails done. One month ago it was lying on Tennessee's chest counting the beats of his heart. See him? I love me some him. But it's no different than it's ever been for me before. I may think of him when I awake and at a few different points throughout the day. Maybe, some nights before I lay down he will run across my mind, but I'm truly okay with not seeing or talking to him. Just as I wouldn't want to be pampered everyday or lie in bed all day watching Sprout with the kid. Too much of any one thing no matter how good it is, is simply overkill. Variety is the spice of life and while that doesn't necessarily mean that I need several hims, it does mean that I need more than just him. I don't want my life to revolve around a man, nor do I want his to revolve around me. I just want to be able to be happy when I desire happiness. I've been told that this is selfish and it probably is. But I can't be worried about that right now.........

"Maybe... if I'd said, 'I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything,' maybe that would have made the impossible possible."